Talent is a gift, but character is a choice..

Assalaamualaikum...

Well, for those who know my college life and experience, you should know how I've slowly given up on my education and have had my motivation sucked out of me. 

Seriously, anything you can think of that can go wrong in an institution, has gone wrong in my college; politics, language barrier, favoritism, racism, class cancellation, unqualified 'lecturers' who don't know NADA about the subject (eg: part time businessman hired, ex-students who has just graduated who didn't even major in my course and didn't ace in their course either ending up as my lecturers, etc), lack of educational resources, material and infrastructure (eg: our library is the size of 4 bookshelves, there's only 1 computer for about 1000+ students use, etc), money-minded staff, sexual harassment, leak of private and confidential information, incomplete records of past payments and transactions, and banyak lagi. 

Every time any of these incidences would occur, bit by bit I became demoralized. And every time I tried to raise these urgent issues to the authorities, they would feed me their excuses. I couldn't bare facing the people in college because I detested what they stood for, their actions and lack of work ethic. I haven't been to college for probably about three months and have left my studies in the dust. 

I channeled my attention to managing the family business, nursing several cats and kittens, traveled hundreds of kilometers to see family  and relatives in need of moral support, spent more time at the orphanage, caught up with friends, invested more 'ka-ching' in the banks (I love banking! Can't wait to get the returns XD InsyaAllah), did other charity work, did errands and I did have my laze moments and just watched Discovery for hours.

Of course, other people's actions and decisions affects our lives and the way we feel. But the point is, I chose how much it got to me. I let them bury me deeper when I was already down. I let them play with my emotions.

We have no control over a lot of things in life. We don't get to choose our parents. We don't select the location or circumstances of our upbringing. We don't get to control other people's actions. We don't get to pick our talents or IQ.

But we do get to choose our character. In fact, we create it every time we make choices - to bend the truth or stand under the weight of it, to take the easy money or earn your dimes, to bail out or dig out of a hard situation.

As we live our lives and make choices today, we are continuing to create our character.


Your character determines who you are.

Who you are determines what you see.

What you see determines what you do.

In times of adversity, challenges and the bad weather of life, what are you going to choose? Are you going to let circumstances chip at your character?


I certainly have let others affect me more than they should. And I'm not going to let them do that anymore.


Now, I choose....

Well, I dang well gonna try! Gotta keep my self motivated!


Assalamualaikum..

You know what love is...

Assalamualaikum..

I haven't heard this song for quite some time. And when I did, it brought tears to my eyes.

Whitney Houston- I Will Always Love You

I...
Will always love you
You, ooh

I hope
life treats you kind
And I hope
you have all you've dreamed of
And I wish you joy
and happiness
But above all this
I wish you love

And I...
Will always love you
I...
Will always love you
[Repeat]

I, I will always love
You....
You
Darling I love you
I'll always
I'll always
Love
You..

At first, the lyrics reminded me of some friends, who I loved and cared for. I reminisced our joyful times together. The times when we there for each other, through thick and thin. The challenges we faced and how we'd overcome them.

But of course life has its curve balls and things took a spin. Situations changed, people changed.

Sacrifices and decisions were made. Everyone took a different path. And even though I still care for these people very much, things are different. Very different.


Then, the chorus came along and it was then when the emotions inside of me overflowed and spilled over. Tears welled up in my eyes and trickled down slowly.

"And I... Will always love you.."

"I... Will always love you.."

And it came to me, like a beautiful thunderstorm.

Thoughts blew and flew through my mind. Dark clouds formed as i remembered all the wrongs that I have done. Regret drenched my soul as realisation sunk in. The tears trickled.

"And I... Will always love you.."

A whirlwind of emotions. Memories uprooted, hurled and crashed. The whole landscape was changing and the words of the chorus took a whole different meaning.


Love...


We think we know love. We love our families, we love our friends, we love our homes. Some love their countries, some love animals and some love their careers. We love our teachers, we love our relatives and we love our parents. We love all these people and things because of all that they have contributed to our lives and what they have made us felt; proud, accomplishment, validated, heard, belonging?

And in the midst of loving all these people, we forget the one love that truly matters in our lives. The one love that never ends.

Even if we could bundle up all of the 'love' in this world, the young love, the love of soul mates; an old married couple, the love of friendship, the love of brotherhood, etc. I mean, ALL the 'love' in this world, from all the different types of relationships on earth, from the first love at the beginning of time, till the end of worldly existence.

All of it will never compare to the love of Allah swt. Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim.




How much Allah loves me.

How much Allah loves you.

How much Allah loves us.



Yet, how much effort have we put in to even try to return Allah's love for us? How much of our actions and the things we do are really sincere to please Allah swt?

The love among humans can take many forms and they evolve. Some fade away, some are rekindled, while a rare few really are true. Of course love for each other, love for people, love for animals, love for this earth, are encouraged in Islam and in all the major religions in the world too, but we must not forget or take lightly the unshakable love of our Creator.

It is the one and only love worth struggling for.
It is the one love that would lead the way to others.
It is the one love that should be on the top of our list.


As the song ended, the ruffle of thoughts inside my head settled. My emotions cleared and a calm came over me. All the good and bad memories of love, friendship and hardship, nestled back into the nook and crannies of my brain. But from now on, every time i reminisce on any of them, I'll see it from a different perspective.

May we all aim, work towards and, InsyaAllah attain, feel and experience the most important love there is.

Allah will always love us.


Do we love Him?




Assalaamualaikum...

No more "I love you"s. The language is leaving me.

Assalaamualaikum..

Hi everyone =)

It's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry for neglecting this space for quite some time. My schedule leaves me worn out at the end of the day and I postpone any ideas of posts for this space. InsyaAllah, I'll jot 'em down soon.

Alhamdulillah, more students are registering at my mum's tuition centre this year. It's been a slow start because mostly everyone is still in their holiday mood.

A new student just signed up last week and his story just tugs at my heart. He is a form 3 student this year. He goes to school at a boarding school somewhere ( sorry for the lack of info) and he is on his break now. Unfortunately, a month ago, he had an accident. He sleeps on a double decker bunker and his bed is the one on top. He got up one morning, maybe feeling a bit dazy having just woke up, he knocked his head straight into the rotating ceiling fan. The force from the hit injured his memory. The doctors say it might take at least 6 months to see whether the injury is permanent or temporary. The parents sent him for tuition to try to trigger his memory back and recall his studies. His first class here was Mathematics and the teacher later informed us that he can't remember how to multiply or divide. He only managed to count up to 5 and do very elementary addition and subtraction. He struggles in all the other subjects as well. On his attendance, we observed that he couldn't write his name consistently and every time he would go to the washroom he would ask where the switch for the light is. His memory has really suffered.

Despite his injuries though, you can see a sparkle in his eyes and when he smiles, his sincerity is written all over his face. Despite his learning disadvantages, you can see his determination to re-learn all that he has forgotten. Despite all that he has gone through, you can see his will to be a better person because of the accident and not feed off of other people's sympathy. MashaAllah, may Allah bless him. 

It makes you think though, doesn't it? How one moment can change your life, completely. Moments like important exams, entering college, getting married or going out into the workforce, we can somewhat be prepared for and expect. But moments like these, incidents and accidents that affects you physically and emotionally. And these changes aren't mere life adaptation to a new surrounding or new people, but a total life change.

Tapi ini lah kehidupan. The challenge is change. May it be many small changes or one big change and may it come sooner or later, all of us will have to face these challenges. What we can do though, is to be better from them.

Of course, change is scary. The unfamiliar makes us nervous and unsure of ourselves. We worry and we are afraid.

But, what we have to keep in mind, is that God knows what is best for us. He wants what is best for us. Allah gives us only what we can manage. And no matter how bad the situation may seem, know that there is always a positive outcome. We just have to find it, work for it and be patient. And no matter how daunting a challenge may be, know that something better is waiting for us.

"Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere" - surah al-baqarah, ayat 155

I've had my share of challenges in the past year; health issues, surgery, college, family and losing a close friend who I cared for the most, really took a toll on me. But this ayat is what has kept me going.

Folded and tucked in the heart.


Assalaamualaikum..

Bahasa adalah perpaduan...

Assalaamualaikum...

I was on a Kiwanis field trip last month and as I sat alone, staring out the window, I saw a government board sign that said "Bahasa adalah Perpaduan". I couldn't agree more with that sign.

The Kiwanis day trip was a great learning experience. We went to a clay pottery farm in the morning ( I was telling my sis the story after I came back to JB but I was worn out. so I said warily to her with my eyes half opened "I went to a clay pottery farm. that made pots. out of clay." hahahha. after I heard myself and my sister gave me a weird look, both of us cracked up. hahaha), we went to Bukit Malawati, Taman Ikan Air Tawar, a rice paddy field, went to the irrigation site, a compost making place (forgot the name), visited a fishing village and we ended our day at Selangor River in Kampung Kuantan experiencing fireflies. Alhamdulillah, I learnt a lot and InsyaAllah I'll write a post on some of the things I learnt soon.

As usual I was the only Malay. I don't mind that but most of the others were mandarin speaking Chinese Malaysians and only a few of them bothered to try to talk English with me. And as the day progressed, only one person stuck by me and took the effort to make me feel comfortable, Wenji. I don't know much about her as we didn't have much time to talk to each other but she accompanied me to look for Halal food in the Chinese fishing village where the others had their dinner and I was to break my fast. She also walked with me throughout most of the trip as we visited one place to another and she even went as far as to give me a ride back to my auntie's afterwards. Honest, simple, fun to hang with and approachable, Wenji is a good friend and I look forward to seeing her during any other Kiwanis event =)

I'm also in a college full of Mandarin speaking people and in class terbawak-bawak lah Mandarin diorang sekali. They would ask questions in Mandarin and some of the lecturers would answer in Mandarin too meaning I would miss out some info in class. There was also an incident when I missed my mock exam because they made the announcement the week before in Mandarin =_=". I've brought the matter up with the college and they acknowledge that by right, students, lecturers, admin people, basicly everyone on campus should converse in English, but when they don't there's not much that the college can do.

Language can really be a barrier at times.

........


I was having dinner at Agnees with my family one friday evening. We eat there often because the food is quite good (especially the cheese naan), the surroundings comfortable and the service is better than most restaurants.

I had a tiring day of class in the morning and did errands and sorted out my 2nd year registration that afternoon, I wasn't in the cheeriest of moods. All i wanted was to lie in bed and have a good nap. But since my dad ajak makan sama-sama, off we went to Agnees.

We were regulars so we were greeted with a warm smile and the waiter directed us to a free table of 5. We sat, ordered our drinks and while the others were going through the menu for their main dish meal, I walked to the back of the restaurant where they had their selection of South Indian lauk-lauk.

Me: anae. (meaning 'brother' in tamil)
I called out to the man behind the food trays. He turned and smiled and nodded his head. I could tell he recognised me.

Me: sorre anae. ('rice, brother')

Anae: oh sorre ah.
He gave a grin and turned to scoop the rice for me onto the plate.

Me: oohhh. sorre kunjum anae ( 'less rice, brother')

Anae: kunjum?
He said as he looked at me with eyebrowsed raised and then to the plate, gesturing 'This little rice ah?'.

Me: Oh kunjum kunjum. ('less,less')
I said with hand movements asserting myself.

Anae: aik, kunjum lagi ke?
And he scooped more rice off my plate.

Me: ops, podum podum! ('oh enough, enough')

Anae: *jokingly sighs* haih. podum ah tanggachi? ('enough ah, sister?')

He said shaking his head turning forward to the trays of food facing me. A smile returned to his face and he continued to scoop the vegetables onto my plate. I only liked one of the vegetable dishes offered that day and i stopped him as he scooped me the other two vege dishes.

Me: oh, elei anae! ('oh, no brother')
I said waving my hands.

Anae: elei ah?
He asked in confirmation.

Me: oh elei, elei.
I said friendly.

We moved to the next section of food trays and it was time to pick some lauk. There was a lot of variety to choose from and i couldn't make up my mind, there were more dishes than usual. I looked back and forth from all of the dishes and asked what they type of meat it was.

Me: hmm. koli ah anae?.... hmmm. min?...hmm koli? (koli=chicken, min=fish)

I asked and he patiently layan-ed me. Other workers overheard me and they gave me smiles, nodds and some even looked from the kitchen. Other waiters passed by and acknowledged me talking in tamil.

waiter: vanakum tanggachi. (welcome, sister)
I recognised this waiter as he has served us before. I smiled and returned his greeting.

another waiter: nalairukiya tanggachi? (how are you, sister?)

Me: irukhan, anae =) (just fine, brother)

anotherrrr waiter: sappade ah tanggachi? yanna sappade?(eating here, sister? what are you having?)

Me: belum pilih lagi.
I replied in Malay because I didn't know how to in Tamil. He smiled and pointed out some of the dishes he liked. I listened tentively and finally decided to go with some mutton.

Me: adher anae.
I said warmly to the anae behind the trays. He smiled and served me my plate.

Anae: kari?

Me: oh dhal, nandri anae.

Anae: ah nandri, nandri =)

Me: hmm.karandi anae? (karandi=utensils)
I asked the waiter beside me.

waiter: ah, karandi. kejap2.
He scuffled to a side table and wrapped a spoon and fork with a tissue paper and passed it to me, giving a slight bow as he did. Still smiling all the way. He followed me to my seat and pulled my chair for me as i had my hands full.

Me: ah, romba nandri anae.
I thanked him and he nodded, both of us smiling. It was infectious =)

I sat down feeling energised and happy. throughout the meal, other waiters tegur me and asked if i wanted any extras or if the food was good. I left feeling ready for life as if i just woke up in the morning and the tiredness i felt before disappeared.

Language can really brighten people up and bring people together.

"O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another." Surah al-Hujurat, ayat 13.

Whether you are trying to improve your proficiency of your mother tongue (Malay in my case), maintain and practice your 2nd language (english), learn a third language (taking mandarin classes now!) or learning a few words of another language, cukup-cukup untuk order makanan sahaja (my tamil), embrace the beauty of language.

Language is one of the key factors to unity and understanding.

Waah, syoknyerr diorang bercerita >_<


Assalaamualaikum...


resources: http://www.iiu.edu.my/deed/quran/nobelquran_arabic/nobae049.html

Snail trail...

Assalamualaikum..

Well, this post is a comment on Arif's blog post titled 'Recognition'. I intended to leave a comment but when I tried posting it, it said that my 'HTML is not accepted. It must be at most 4,096 characters long'. I guess mine is more than that and I didn't bother checking. So I'm posting it here, copy and paste kat bawah ni je.

So whoever is interested in knowing what I'm blabbering about kat bawah ni about snails and fire, haha, do read up on Arif's original entry to this topic. Here's the link http://ana-safwan.blogspot.com/2010/08/recognition.html .

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Assalaamualaikum Arif..

Prof. Kopanski's analogy is very interesting to me. And to answer your question in the 2nd last paragraph, I think that the world can be represented by a snail. A snail can not live without a shell, but a shell is just a shell without the living creature inside it. The living creature gives meaning to the shell. It requires both the elements to be a 'snail'.

The shell represents the material things in this world, may it be a need or a want. While the living creature is the society that gives these material things meaning.

The elders that you mentioned (likely 60+ years of age now) that are wise and brighter than the younger 'educated' generation of today, I think they are that way because of hardship. To find a job back in their time wasn't easy and even if there was, it was back-breaking jobs. Putting food on the table was one of the top priorities along with family ties and keeping to tradition. Through hardship, these people learnt how to be human. They still had shells of course (material things) but whatever they had was enough because keeping the living creature alive was more important. This is even more relevant when World War 2 happened. The people focused on being a community and how to be strong as a unit and care for one another. They gave importance more to the slug, the living creature, than the shell. Nevertheless, still a snail.

The generation after this one (around 35+ years old now), fortunately had better life opportunities. Negara dah merdeka, economy is becoming more stable (though still needs improvement) and living necessities are more attainable. Since surviving is not as big of a challenge as it was before, this generation put its focus more on the shell. Nothing wrong with that though, we do need technology and progress to improve our living standards. Yet all these advances were still in their early stages and were prone to mistakes, problems etc. This generation still had their hardship but it came from labouring at their shell. It took a lot of energy to get where they are at and they appreciate what they have because they toiled over it.

The upcoming generation now (in their 20's or below), hm, well, our shell looks pretty okay, thriving well enough with all the readily available goods and top nosh to keep us alive. Then, what should we focus on? I think today's generation is at a crossroad and most of us get confused. Everything is COMPARATIVELY much simpler to do or to get. We start taking things for granted and our fitrah naturally attracts us to the shiny and the beautiful. Most of us focus on our shells, but its not like before any more, because of the geometric progression of growth in technology and its overwhelming speed in advancements, its so easy to get lost in the material world. Some people get hooked, chasing fame, status, goods etc. Others who aren't into shells as much, they socialize. Again, our fitrah as humans, our nafsu too, can mislead us. sometimes its easier to do the bad things rather than the good and most of us fall into this trap. Merempit, drugs, clubbing, over-socializing etc.

Everything is so attainable, accessible and in abundance, we just don't know what to with it sometimes.

I think this is our generations challenge. To put whatever we have, may it be material items, social status or knowledge, we have to put it to good use.

The first generation I mentioned, the elderly, had survival to remind them of this. Whatever they had, they had to put it to good use, kalau tak susah nak survive.

The second generation had their investments to remind them of this. If they didn't put their projects on their 'shell' to good use, then all their effort would be wasted.

As for the latest generation, there is a lack of things that push us or to help to remind us of this. That motivation and will is barely ignited because we take the fuel that lights it for granted. The generations before us worked so hard for their fuel and when they got it, they ignited it, lighting the dark.

Now when we look at our society, we wonder why everything seems superficial, busy without meaning, sad, sombre and dark, and we ask ourselves "where's the fire?".

Anyway back to the snail analogy, yes, we're still a snail. We have a shell and the creature living in it is still alive.

But it's sleeping... =.=

We need to wake up!

Use our 'aql (akal/intelligence) positively and wisely, reignite the moral fibre within us and purify our actions with sincerity. InsyaAllah, Allah will recognise us. Never give up in hope and prayer to attain His Redha. A reminder to myself before others of course.

Sorry my comment pajang sangat >_< anyway, good post! Shukran for making me think. Alhamdulillah I still can =)

Wassalaam..

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Blaze the snail trail..

Assalamualaikum..

The Journey..

Assalamualaikum...


I was born in Kuala Lumpur but I spent my early years in Muar before I left for England at the young age of 4. In Muar, my family stayed in a lovely detached house with a wide area of lawn, just opposite the VIP Guest House of Muar. I used to have a nanny. My brother, sister and I, know her as Mak Lus, though I called her Mak. She used to live in the VIP grounds, in a little one bedroom and living room house with an extended kitchen area and toilet made from loose tin roofing, planks of wood and do-it-yourself concrete floors. She used to work as the caretaker of the VIP house and she looked after kids in her spare time.

She is quite well known in Muar. She took care of a number of children and I was her last.

So everyday I used to spend most of my time at her place and at the VIP grounds. I used to picnic and play under a big shady tree, be on the look out for biawaks haha, play with the cats that Mak lus took in and fed, I would sit in the front basket of Mak Lus's motorcycle as we rode to my favourite tuck shop and bought sweets that would make my tongue turn blue, I would play with the neighbour's kids and other kids that Mak Lus took care of before me, I would wrestle with boys, I would have breakfast at the corner shop ordering my usual roti canai and milo tarik and I would spend some of my evenings exploring Tanjung Emas which is just a five minute walk from the house; I would gorge down ice-cream, play the swings and slides, feed the monkeys and I'd occasionally act brave and try the stepping stones.

To be honest, the memories were quite vague and blurry in my head but when I saw old pictures and I heard the stories my elders and the Muar community told me, the images in my head were reinforced and became clearer. Now, when I think back to those times, the smile it puts on my face and the kiddy joy I feel inside is comforting =)

Though, this perspective didn't come to me straight away.



When I returned to Malaysia in 2001, it was really scary and a challenge. So many family members and people I've never met, most I don't remember or recognise and some I remember but only because I visited Malaysia in 1998 for a few months. It was weird having people know my name and recall stories about my childhood that I could barley remember myself.

"Haaaa. Ya Allah. Ini Asye ke?", they would ask in astonishment (Asye is my family nickname, pronounced as ashee, unique kan XD haha).

"Ye.", I would nod my head politely, giving them as friendly of a smile I could.

"Haaa Ya Rabbi, dah besar daaah!", they would exclaim as some would give me hugs, others patted me as if I were pet, and some would just give me a look, standing there smiling, as if they can't believe I'm in front of their eyes.

"Ingat Pakcik/Makcik/Kakak/Abang tak? Dulu Pakcik/Makcik/Kakak/Abang ......" and they would give a little summary of how they knew me, the times they had with me and my 'perangai' that entertained them way back when.

I would remember some of them after they told me who they were. The memories I had of them were just some of the activities I did with them, but their faces were just a blur in my head and  I had to match these new faces to whatever bubbles of thoughts of my childhood I could recall. It was odd indeed and I was shy and felt insecure whenever these incidences would occur. These people looked so pleased to see me, yet I can't feel the same because I can't recognise them.

I felt so 'on the spot' that I didn't know what to do most of the time. They would look at me, like a picture on a wall and as they looked on, a film of the distant past rolled in their heads and they would replay that moment in their minds. They think that I have that roll of film in my head too, but I don't. Sometimes, I can sense that they expected a little something out of me. Maybe to act the way I used to, to say the things I used to or to eat like I used to sampai betul-betul bulat till my parents thought that there was something wrong with me (and yes, that did happen 0.0). And after a while, they assess this new tween/teen me (whichever time they met me in), shy and preserved so they moved on to catch up with my parents talking about politics, family, kids, marriage, friend updates, work and talks of their past time together.


I would shrug of these moments and give myself excuses. I would think, "Hey, I really don't know these people. I mean, I'm grown up now and of course I'm different. You can't expect me to be the same little kid I was. I'm sure they know that.' And so I continued being bothered just about the present (which is the past now obviously).

I indulged myself in school at that time. In form 1 and Form 2, I was the class clown, making sure that a day didn't go by without having a good hearty laugh with my friends. I did acts, played with the long ruler, imitated people, talked in a variety of slang's, teacupped a teacher (haha, kena tawu cerita baru faham), played the grandfather clock game, sang songs, played softball with a ruler and a scrolled up bunch of paper and made jokes that didn't make much sense most of the time but everyone seemed to enjoy them ;D haha. Form 3 onwards, I was getting myself involved in tonnes of school activities; softball, mssd, mssj, prefect stuff, kiwanis club, lots of camps, Puteri Islam, chess club, running 1500m and 800m relay, took part in a country runs as well, lontar peluru, helped in school projects like the 80th school anniversary concert, Prisoner of Zenda play, Farewell concerts, debate and much more.

I was so focused on my school life, that I forget to appreciate the people that helped me to become that teen me.

And one of them was Mak Lus.


Now that I think about, I don't think I would be close to my school friends if I didn't learn the basics of friendship during playtime with the neighbour's kids in Muar. I don't think I dared to try something new or push myself, if I didn't overcome my fear of the stepping stones at Tanjung Emas. I don't think I would love animals (even though some do scare me a little), if I didn't interact with the kitties at the VIP grounds. I don't think I would be so passionate about the environment if I didn't spend most of my childhood playing outdoors. I don't think I would an independent individual if Mak Lus didn't let me pick my own sweets or ordered what I want at such a young age.

I don't think I would be a lot of things, if it wasn't for Mak Lus.

And that's just my nanny. I wouldn't be a lot more things if it wasn't for my parents, brother and sister, my uncles and aunts, cousins and distant relatives, my teachers and friends and even acquaintances.


Every experience that we have with people, teaches us something. May it be just a few moments with any particular person or years of memories with another. May it be joyous occasions, tragic events, fits of laughter or just a small conversation. If we didn't go through what we went through, we wouldn't be where we are today, we wouldn't be who we are today.


A reminder to myself before others:

Life's journey is long. Though it may seem short sometimes, the amount of experiences we go through is breathtaking. We meet a lot of people during our life time. Some just pass us by while others helped to pathe the way forward. Some gave us a hand over a little stream while others helped us conquer mountains. As time passes by, some people stay, some people go. Situations change and people change. We look back on the road we travelled but we can't see a clear path. We've made corners, met junctions and crossed countries to new territories.

Yes, this is life's journey.

But don't forget the people who helped you get through it. Time and distance can wear at relationships. And when you suddenly feel the urge to make contact with them again, things are different and can be awkward.

But if you put a little effort and show you care, the awkwardness fades away. The time and effort would be worth it. The smiles you see are priceless and the joy fills up your soul just like refuelling your car with petrol. Making these people proud, seeing them happy and helping them with what you can, motivates and revives you.

Take a little time to keep in touch. Now that we are older, we can ask the things we didn't know how to ask before. We can talk about things that we never talked before because we were young and didn't understand things. We can help them in ways we couldn't before. We can save a little money for them, we can buy groceries for them, we can make a cup of tea for them, we chat casually with them, we can comfort them or give em a call.


And even if we don't do much, sometimes it's the little things that matter.


Care for those who cared for you. Appreciate them =)


Assalamualaikum...

Where's the fire?

Assalamualaikum...

I remember, back in high school, my friends and i would talk about how we would be like when we got older. It didn't happen in one long conversation, but overtime, a little statement here and there. Here are examples of a few:

- we saw ex-seniors coming back to school, who dressed more 'grown up', i guess? But even though they were grown up, it seemed like they wore clothes that would fit 6 year olds. Clothes that were tight was one thing but over exposure was a whole other issue 0.0 and i recall most of my friends commenting and making remarks like these:

"Like OMG, what is she wearing? I would never wear a skirt that short when i get older!"

" *gasps* Is that ......(senior's name)..........? What the? I can see her cleavage!"

- when we would be low on pocket money, some of us would claim:

"I'll save when i get older so I'll be ready for any emergencies or when I'm out of cash"

"Having an ATM card is so cool. But I'll only spend on things that i really need, not like those people who spend like there's no tomorrow. I'd be more wary of where my money goes to."

- Kiwanis members and Interact members and some of my other friends would mention:

"When i have my own money, I'll donate some/more to charity."

"I'll volunteer more of my time when I'm older."

"I wana help the less fortunate any way i can!"

- when we heard stories of our ex-seniors getting too involved or complicated with their boyfriends, we would question:

"What happened to them man? Don't they have any self-respect anymore?"

"Where's their dignity? Just leave the dude if it gets this complicated."

"Why do they wanna get involved so early? what's the rush? and what's up with hooking up with bad boys? If u know he's a bad bay, why even get involved in that kinda mess?!"

- when we would see adults fighting or not on good terms due to politics/positioning, we would ask:

"What are they bickering about man? Can't they just talk things out calmly instead of back-biting and throwing accusations? They're adults, they should know this by now."

"Why do they have to involve politics in everything and make things so complicated?"

- when we saw things on the news or got to know how things worked, we would comment:

"If i were in their position, i would ........."

"That's ok, but it would be better if ........."

"How can people just do nothing about that? We should ........"

"I WANNA CHANGE THE WORLD!!" (hahaha, i think i said that)


Sounds familiar convent girls? hahaha.

Anyway, back then, our lives were relatively much simpler; just school work and activities, tuition, home, tv, cs. It was easy to critique our elders because as teenagers we began to wonder and learn about adulthood, the stigma's, taboos and 'acceptable behavior' that went a long with it. We as the outsider, just being introduced to the world, easily passed comments.

Little did we know, it's easier said than done.

It's so easy to get sidetracked in the 'grown up' world. We have work hours to log, we have errands to run, we get stuck in traffic, we have money issues and we have laundry to do. In furthering our education, we have scholarships to worry about, assignments to crank out, applications to be sorted and dealt with. We have more shoes. We mingle with other grown up's, make new acquaintances, new friends and new relationships are built. We try to live up to other people's expectations and we often over-think things.We think about marriage XD. We experience different surroundings and we try to fit in and conform and we lose track of time when we're engrossed in our work.We spend more on caffeine and the list goes on...

Now that we are older (Nooooooo, tidak! i badan kecik lagi, still boleh pass as budak sekolah, muahaha), have we done the things we said we were going to do? Or atleast put in some effort to do so? What happened to the "I'm gonna.." and  "I wanna.."? Have we compromised our principles because of peer pressure? Have we put our ideas into action? Or have we become the person we said we weren't going to be?


What happened to the hope and passion and fire within us? That feeling of wanting be somebody or help somebody. The determination to be better and to make a difference.

A reminder to myself before others, of course:

We are in our youth. THIS is the time to volunteer or help the less fortunate. THIS is the time to save money bit by bit for our future. THIS is the time to try our ideas (if it works out, Alhamdulillah. if it didn't go so well, try again. if it failed, at least you gave it a shot eyh). THIS is the time to invest in ourselves. THIS is the time to give back to our parents and make them proud. THIS is the time to make that change. THIS is the time to build our career (or in the process of getting there). THIS is the time capitalize on our strengths and work on our weaknesses. THIS is the time to learn from our mistakes and be better. THIS is the time to soak up as much knowledge as possible. THIS is the time to give it our all.

Don't be fooled by this world or get lost in it. Materialism, politics, money, fame, status. Hold on tight to our principles. Keep our eye on the prize and work towards them.

Keep that fire alive =)


Assalamualaikum...

SocialVibe...

Nursyahidah Sidek invites you to SocialVibe.com    


Assalamualaikum..

For those who received my last message on Facebook, you should know that I'm trying to make my time on the net more useful and productive. Alhamdulillah, I'm getting there bit by bit. I also want to make positive changes, InsyaAllah. I want to walk the walk because so many people, including myself, just used to talk the talk but little to no actions were taken.

A reminder to myself before others, do not postpone what you can do today till tomorrow. Procrastinating and hypocrisy is a destructive habit. It will get you nowhere, simple as that. Despite knowing this, most of us still do it because it's so easy to do. We make excuses for ourselves and take for granted the gift that is, Today.

Life is short and that's a fact.

Get motivated, be motivated and stay motivated to make that change. Whether its doing your laundry today or giving a loved one a call or signing up as a organ donor or doing that overdue assignment or recycling your trash or cleaning out that forgotten store or helping the needy, make an effort to make it happen.

Alhamdulillah, I've found a site that can help me to help the less fortunate while I'm online. It's not as fun and exciting as online games or social networking sites but it only takes a few minutes a day and I know my actions are making a difference for communities in need.

So please do join me on SocialVibe or just complete a few activities by clicking on the socialvibe badge on my sidebar =) thank you!

Assalamualaikum..

Give hope...

Assalamualaikum...

Although there have been advances in medical technology and donation, the demand for organ, eye and tissue donation still vastly exceeds the number of donors.

Organ donation statistics in America
The statistics below is just covering America. The numbers would be even higher if it were world statistics. Tried to search for it and Malaysia's stats too but couldn't find it.



More than 100,000 men, women and children currently need life-saving organ transplants.

Every 10 minutes another name is added to the national organ transplant waiting list.

An average of 18 people die each day from the lack of available organs for transplant.

In 2009, there were 8,021 deceased organ donors and 6,610 living organ donors resulting in 28,465 organ transplants.

Last year, more than 42,000 grafts were made available for transplant by eye banks within the United States.

According to research, 98% of all adults have heard about organ donation and 86% have heard of tissue donation.

90% of Americans say they support donation, but only 30% know the essential steps to take to be a donor.

Imagine if the person who needed a transplant was your spouse or one of your parents, siblings, relative or friends. Would you donate then?

Imagine if it were you who needed an organ transplant. You'd be hoping that someone had a life sign that would match your case. Even then, you'd have to wait your turn on the transplant list.

Give so that others can live. InsyaAllah.

Assalamualaikum...

A penny's worth..

Assalamualaikum..


I recycled a total weight of 32.8kg of goods today and i got RM6.60 for it. Honestly, I'm more excited about the fact that i can recycle rather than about the earnings, they were just icing on the cake for me.


Then, i remembered those people on the streets we see scavenging for cans in rubbish bins. Imagine how its like for them. An empty can only weighs a few grams, they have to collect at least a hundred just to get 1 kg of cans which is sold at a price of 20 cents.

Take a look at this man. He must at least have a few hundred cans in there and may be a couple hundred of bottles. From the way he's pulling at the cart, it sure does look heavy. Rationally estimating, let's say he has 150 kg. That's about the equivalent of two men sitting on that cart, just think of it as a rickshaw ride. Yeah, that would be logically possible. More than 150 kg, would be a challenge even for the most experienced rickshaw men. Now, for 150 kg, this man would get RM30.


Contemplate..



How did you earn and spend your last RM30?


If you're reading this, it means you have internet access, which is a luxury. From this, i assume you're not scavenging in the streets.

A reminder to myself before others, be thankful that you have an education. Be thankful that you might have better job prospects, InsyaAllah. Be thankful that you have parents or other family members that work hard and give you money. No matter how much they earn, they still work, so that you don't have to work as hard as the man in the picture.


Assalamualaikum...

Religious education..

Assalamualaikum..

Alhamdulillah, Malaysia has a higher religious tolerance rate as compared to other countries in the world. Its one of the main reasons why i enjoy being here. Some Malaysians pandang rendah kat negara sendiri maybe because they don't know any better. They always see other countries blooming and developing, with tall sky scrapers, wide streets, flashing lights and all the glamor on telly, that they sometimes forget to appreciate what they have in the country. As a result, we end up complaining to each other about all the shortcomings Malaysia and skipping all the good parts about it. I've gotta admit, i used to do that too and still do once in a while, but now that I'm older, i can really weigh the goods and bad much more clearly.

When i first came back to Malaysia, all i saw was the bad. I compared everything to the experiences i had in England and never understood why certain things are the way they are here. Alhamdulillah, i'm getting a better understanding of things and can really appreciate what Malaysia has to offer. Like i said, once in a while i still talk about what our country lacks, but now, i say it because i know Malaysia can do and be better, not out of spite anymore. If my emotions get the better of me and i start feeling angry again, i usually try to stop talking about it and just change the subject. (if i forget, please do remind me yea)

InsyaAllah, any comparison i make in my posts about Malaysia and England, remind us all that we should want to improve and be better for our country. Take the constructive ideologies from other nations and disregard the not-so-sesuai ones. For those who are in a position or who have the opportunity to make a change, make it a positive one.

Religious Education (RE) was one of the subjects in Junior school. Unlike the subject Agama/Moral in Malaysia, we weren't separated into groups based on our religion. We sat as a class, learning eachothers cultural and religious beliefs. For example, in week 1 we would learn the basic beliefs and traditions of Muslims, in week 2 we would learn about Christianity. Once in a while we would even visit each others places of worship for example we went to a Gurdwara. By not segregating us, we got to know each other more and learn to respect one another regardless of our beliefs. We felt open enough to ask questions and discuss such a sensitive issue at a young age, yet we know when to agree to disagree and let each other do what they need to do according to their religion. There is religious tolerance because the kids have religious understanding through religious education lessons.

However, religious tolerance have been decreasing nowadays and it seems like a growing trend. The cause and effects of this would be a whole different post, if you know what i mean 0.0

The issue I'm addressing now is on Malaysia's religious understanding. We have a good sense of religious tolerance here, but what surprised me was how little Malaysians knew about beliefs other than their own. For example, how many of you (Malaysians) knew that Gurdwara's are the place of worship for Sikhs?

I know I'm taking a bit of a risk by putting a poll but i can't put my finger on it exactly or give a clear simple example of how and why i think Malaysians have a lower degree of religious understanding. I can see it and feel it and experience it bit by bit the longer i stay in Malaysia but i can't describe it to you in words how i sense this or give you a specific event. I'm sorry but i hope my little poll will speak for itself though. Please vote =) thank you..







Moving on, i think it would be a good idea if we were taught RE in Malaysia for sekolah rendah kids. If its not for all the 6 years, we can do it for just one year, lets say, darjah 5 maybe. Some people may worry that it would shake the faith of a child from his/her original religion that they were born into. But actually, it would encourage the sekolah-sekolah agama, church groups and etc to improve their way of teaching, find and try different methods to reinforce faith among the believers. Since I'm Muslim, I gotta say InsyaAllah, if we are sincere in what we do, which is our amalan and we are sincere in our dakwah and keeping the ummah together, InsyaAllah, things will only improve.

Other than this, religious understanding would encourage children to get to know other cultures and beliefs. Understand why some people pray 5 times a day or go to church on Sundays or give offerings to their ancestors. Sometimes, by investigating other peoples actions, it may reinforce our viewpoint and outlook for what we stand up for and why we believe in our religion (bukan buta-buta ikut je) and it may even give us a boost to lebih mendalami our religion. It can also instill the value of respect in our children, promote healthy discussions and give them confidence to discover and explore whatever interests them.

Agree? What do you think?


Assalamualaikum...

Laugh and learn..

Assalamualaikum..

Alhamdulillah, I've had the opportunity to spend my childhood in England. I moved there in 1994 and returned to motherland, Malaysia, in 2001. I've gotta say, it was a blast. It wasn't all that exciting, it was a pretty normal childhood; sleepovers, walks in the park, mengaji kat surau kecik, sitting in shopping carts, not being able to ride the cool rides at the theme park, swinging upside down on monkey bars, etc. Oh, the innocent times... You can have such experiences in Malaysia too and in any suburban area for that matter, but one of the main differences i noticed straight away when i came back to Malaysia was the learning environment for kids here. It's so secularized, dead boring and tense, as compared to the experience i had in England. I'm not saying that everything in Malaysia is bad and everything in England is great and much better. In actual fact, I'm thankful that i returned home and i don't have the urge to leave or migrate to England or any other country. Tapi kalau pergi cuti-cuti tu nak lah jugak, hehe.

To sum up the learning environment in England in a few simple words is that its makes learning interesting and fun.

Here are just some examples of the things that made Junior school (sekolah rendah) cool:

• Writers introduction in year 5. Published authors came to the school (i forgot their names) and taught us how to improve our writing skills. They taught us ways to use adjectives effectively and everyone got a free storybook. We also had to write a story  and everyone had one-to-one time with the authors. They would go through each of our tales and would point out ways on how to tweak our storyline and give a punch to it.
• Parachute preparedness, in year 4 i think. Even though our cheeks didn't flap like a pit bull putting his head out of a fast moving car, from any free-falling but we were introduced on how to use a parachute. They showed us how it worked and we played a game using an opened parachute.
• Swimming and tennis lessons. Its compulsory for junior school children to learn these two skills. We would go once a week for a set period of time (can't remember how many terms it was and what year though).
• Monday assemblies, all the classes would take turns to do a performance or demonstration of what they learned, for example class A in week 1 and class B in week 2. It goes on throughout the year, for all the years (the term 'year' here means darjah/tingkatan in Malay. Kalau guna grade pon boleh tapi most of the public schools use year. eg: year 4 = darjah 4, year 8 = form 2). The performance can be as simple as a demonstration on how to make a paper snow flake or it can be a mini theater production with costumes and characters.
• We made our own pizza's in year 4. The dough was already made for us but we rolled it out and chose our own toppings. Mine was topped with mushrooms, a lil' bit of chicken and cheese =) Plenty of cheeeeessseeee.. Mmm... Instructions on the temperature of the oven, how to use the oven properly, which utensils to use and safety precautions were given, but we were entrusted to do everything ourselves. Of course the teacher was there supervising, helping out here and there and checking on every single detail but at least we were given a chance to explore, have the self confidence to use the utensils correctly, try new tastes, figure out which combination of flavors worked best together, pop the lil' beauty's in the oven ourselves and enjoy the fruits of our labor. We also created and baked our own biscuits in year 5.
• We had a trip to an old water and wind mill that was used to grind flour (flower!!). That trip was wicked awesome though. I can remember every nook and cranny of the place and how the mills were designed. We also had a trip to a castle, in year 6  and even managed to go in the dungeons!
• We had Music as a subject. Examples of some of the lessons: design and construct our own musical instruments from scratch (in groups), bring your favorite CD to school, play a song you like but you have to justify your reasons (eg: did you like it just for the beat or the lyrics or was it because of the cultural elements in the song, etc), learned about other unique instruments like the nose flute, why and how its used, etc.

There are lots more things like home dinners, family photo sessions, PE, RE, technology as a subject, how the playground was set up, lockers and trays for the kids and helpers for the teachers, but I'll save them for other posts where I'll go in detail on the advantages, disadvantages, positive effects, administration and execution.

All these activities were not small courses or ideas that my school had and implemented by themselves, it is actually integrated as a part of Junior school curriculum and education system. This allows every child to benefit, not just the kids from private schools or schools that are financially better-off or supported. Every child has the opportunity to be exposed to more ideas, skills and thoughts, discover and learn not just from books but by do-it-yourself methods and 'get your fingers stuck in it' attitude. The British have a nack for such simplicity in their ideology of teaching and how to get it done effectively and efficiently. Less paper work, hierarchical structure and processes, more communication and discussion among students and teachers and more hands on activities. Even during the activities, children have to strategise for themselves or give new things a try and outline every experiment to what they think is appropriate, which promotes critical thinking. Kalau tak tepat pon tak apa, you are encouraged to try again.

The word 'wrong' was never used, just 'maybe this method would work better' or 'if you try this, maybe this would be the result'. We aren't told what is right and wrong in black or white, but we learned through trying, discovering, making mistakes, adjusting and making improvements. Some may worry about such an open way of teaching but having this approach for this age group raises a child's self-esteem and problem solving becomes a habit for them. They are less shy to ask questions or to suggest new ideas and they have a wider range of basic knowledge and general understanding. Yet rules are still enforced wherever needed and they are reprimanded firmly. There is such balance in the English system and every action is meant for a specific reaction (every activity/experiment/trip/game/lesson teaches the child a new skill/method/ideology/fact/knowledge).

Mannn, i can go on forever about this issue 0.0 Penat aku type, phuhh...

I guess this post will be continued.

My main point here is that Malaysia should take what is good from other education systems and leave the bad. Adapt it an a way to suit our culture in Malaysia, keep things simple and make learning fun for kids in school.

Don't kill the buzz.

Assalamualaikum..